Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Heart (Chakra) of the Matter

I've been really focused these days on what this process of Ascension really means, as well as how to get through kindergarten and get promoted to 1st grade at Ascension Academy. As I've written before, we are at a time in our evolutionary development when we are going from being 3rd dimensional to 5th dimensional beings. Gaia, our Earth and our true mother, is doing the same. That gets more complicated for me, but one thing it tells me: We will still be Earthlings... just 5D Earthlings instead of 3D ones.

The fastest way to accelerating our frequency in order to align us with our 5D selves is to keep opening our hearts, catching our judgments of self and others, and looking deeply at, and working to transform, all other shadow issues as they arise. Transforming shadow, whether it comes as judgment or in another form, happens by observing and naming the shadow, owning the energy and sending it unconditional love. This will shift us from an egoic state into the energy of our heart. 5D is the dimension of LOVE, CREATIVITY and UNITY CONSCIOUSNESS. We cannot hold that frequency without continuously transforming our shadow and clearing our hearts blockages.

It is no surprise then, that all spiritual teachers these days seem to be upping their focus on love as well as on shadow issues that arise with our heart opening. Over the weekend, I attended a wonderful Yoga workshop offered by the lovely, deep and uplifting Laura Wolf. While I attended the workshop because I love Laura and she was back in our area for just a short time, what I had not paid much attention to until the day before, was that the theme of the workshop was about love: specifically about keeping our hearts open even when we are feeling most triggered. Okay then, who doesn't need work on this!

I've noticed in this latest spiral of our evolutionary activation, as we are being challenged to open our hearts, old emotional issues are coming back up for me and for many others in order to get resolved at a new level. As this happens we tend to get triggered more easily than usual, making Laura's theme deeply relevant to our evolutionary imperative. Remember we have to navigate through the 4th dimension in order to get to the 5th. Any unhealed wounding and any undealt with shadow, stays in our energy field and makes the higher dimensional light less accessible. I do not believe this is totally black and white. Who knows if it is even humanly possible to heal all old wounding. (Maybe I'll have that answer when I get into 2nd grade.) Most of us have returned for this incarnation as very old souls. We have multi-layered wounds which is why even after decades of work, they still arise again in one form or the other. Every time we experience an emotional wound, most of us have learned to put up walls over our hearts. We become a little less loving and/or a little more closed down. Sometimes people who have experienced traumatic abuse have been able to keep their hearts open to give love to others, but without healing they are not able to receive love from others, which is equally important.

My old wounds have resurfaced. I first began to get in touch with this about a year ago when I had just started this blog. I was writing about bringing our KA bodies in more fully, and as I was practicing this myself, I noticed a blockage in my back heart chakra. Back heart chakra blockages are old stuck feelings. And sure enough, as time went by, my mother-wounding resurfaced. At first it arose in the same old way. My mother passed away at 92 close to a decade ago. But the wounding for me was so deep, that even without her around to say something unkind or to remind me of her perception that I was a rotten daughter, I still had to process this relationship. (So far this processing has gone on for over 40 years! And I'm a diligent and effective emotional processor.) Still, my habitual strategy which had served me reasonably well, was to re experience my anger... not in a vengeful or resentful way, but in a way that honored the energy around how I had been treated. It released me from any feelings of victimization, and allowed me to energetically set boundaries so that I could honor my own essence.

What I had not fully processed though was the sadness. As a child, like all children, I deeply loved my mother, but what I realized in a new way lately, was that my inner child who was not always treated fairly, was in deep turmoil and grief because as much as she loved her mother, there were also times when she hated her. Since, there was no permission for this child to own any piece of the negative feelings, she was very confused and heart-broken. She was holding the emotional pain of her family, and as I understand now, the emotional pain of the collective. This was both hers and all of the billions of other children on the planet that feel both the depth of this pain and their powerlessness to heal it. In order to survive, this child had to begin to close her heart down. When I recently reconnected with her, I realized that while she still had some anger work that needed to be done, (and I could do this easily,) the most vital, the most important piece of work was to own and honor that excruciating grief. I was able to do both through visualization, felt the release and and knew I had made progress.

The night after the Yoga workshop, I had a very vivid dream. In writing about the dream the next day, I found, much to my surprise, that not only was I grieving for the pain in my immediate family, but that another part of my back heart chakra issue was grief from a disconnection with my extended family, and with two aunts in particular. When I broke away from my mother's expectations in my 20's in order to follow my own spiritual Path, not only did she project her judgments onto me, but she insisted that the rest of the family felt the same. Even though on some level, I knew that wasn't accurate, emotionally I unconsciously bought into this, and in effect lost my connection with my extended family as well as with my mother. Since I was far away geographically, and one of my aunts passed away shortly after this, I didn't give this disconnect much importance at the time. But in processing the dream, I found that I had deep sadness about it, and it was part of my back heart charka blockage. The tears came up suddenly and totally unexpectedly, a sure sign that my heart had opened more. I don't know that all my work is done here, but certainly I have my assignment laid out before me in a much clearer way: maybe my final kindergarten project.

AND, I also see how this works metaphorically for the greater whole. I had to be true to myself and my path. Within my own essence there was no room that allowed me to not chose growth and compromise my truth in order to be accepted. I paid a big price for this. But this is really what we all need to do: We need to be willing to lose it all to be ourselves. And we need to be willing to feel and honor the excruciating grief that may get unleashed in the process.

I'm thinking that maybe I'm getting closer to that 1st grade classroom. This awareness coupled with the experience I had last night and today, while being in a small group led by Andrew Harvey, an amazing mystic, teacher and transformer, has taught me all sorts of things about myself and about our current evolution. This will be the focus of my next blog and I'm quite sure the focus of my 1st grade curriculum. But, what I now can see more clearly than ever, is that as our 3D world dissolves, we do not have the luxury or the right to disown that 3D self. We are multi-dimensional beings and while we may be ascending into 5D, part of what is being asked of us is to heal and strenghten that 3D self as well. As the 3D we know falls apart, we must tend to its pain and wounds as we are simultaneously attending to shifting into the love frequency that will bring us all great joy.

Enough for now, my brother and sisters. But stay tuned. I have a lot more verses coming for this song.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Being a 3D/5D person on the old/New Earth

It's been an interesting ride the past few days.  Right now my creativity is surging and my multidimensional connection feels more integrated than ever.  After diving into concern and confusion about what my work was truly to be and become, if it was to be and become anything more at all, Spirit tapped me on the shoulder and said "HA!  Ye of little trust... haven't you learned anything!"  Okay.  Okay.  Spirit did tap me on the shoulder and give me some very clear Guidance about the next step of my sacred work, and I simultaneously felt Her loving and gentle humor about the mental/emotional gyrations I've been putting myself through.  But somehow I don't think She would have phrased things quite like that. "Haven't you learned anything!" sounds like my inner 3D judge who, masquerading as Spirit, sneaked right in.

As we are riding this first wave of our ascension process from 3D beings to 5D beings, I'm suspecting I'm not the only one going through some bi-polar dances.  Here's what I wrote a few days ago when I first began this posting:
       Feeling stuck back in 3D again... but that's okay.  I know on some level it's part of my process.  As I expand energetically, there seems to be an almost equal period of contraction.  Interesting huh since that is one of the main laws of Newtonian physics, (for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction) or put differently, a primary physical law of the third dimension.
       I was surprised though as this contracted state almost immediately followed a lovely one-day workshop that I taught with Anyaa McAndrew on Activating Our Multidimensional Potential.  We have been getting plenty of emails from our students saying how good they feel -- but, hmmmmm, at least this teacher is experiencing something quite different.

Now that I am at the manic pole, (or at least I was until my husband walked in and we started bickering about ridiculous stuff, which put me momentarily back in the depressive pole,)  I see the magical interweaving of energy; I feel the perfection of the Universe I live in. And I see, yet again, this ecstatic dance is much more fun than doing the bi-polar jig that likes to spin us around and around.

So what's up here?  I know that it is optimum to maintain that lovely sense of equanimity and presence. I know being reactive to all outer stimulation simply disconnects me from my center and Divine wisdom.  And certainly I have worked long and hard at this, practicing over and over the joy of non- reactivity.  SO, why have I been recently so reactive?

As one of those human creatures that I share the planet with, I realize that we never just learn a lesson and then are done with it at least not in the 3rd dimension.  When we are talking about emotional and spiritual healing and development, we are talking about learning the same lesson over and over in a multitude of variations.  AND, while on an individual level I have Saturn transiting my natal Jupiter which is rather a bi-polar energy to start with, I feel this is part of the larger and more generalizable cycle which we are all passing through on our way to Unity Consciousness.

The Mayan calendar ends in 14 days.  We are in the final day of the final underworld:  an 18 day period which is the very last segment of a 16.4 billion year evolutionary cycle.  On the 28th of this month, all of the 9 major cycles or underworlds of the last 16.4 billion years are scheduled to culminate.  How can we not all be feeling this? Our cellular memories are amped up to the max, while the demands of daily life seems to match the intensity of this vibration.

What I have been consistently bringing my awareness back to is the 2 cardinal rules of our present evolution into 5D beings:  1.  Keep opening both the heart and the high heart   2.  Notice and release judgement.  Are you rolling in the aisles yet??  Piece of cake you say?  Surely the evolution-gods and goddesses are yukking it up watching us Earthlings struggle with things that are to become as normal as breathing. But the reality is that these are the biggest challenges for pretty much all of us.  

Let's start with the first concept... that of an open heart and high heart that is filled with unconditional Divine love.  The state that is guaranteed to bring us ongoing bliss.  How many of you were given unconditional love as children?  How many of you had parents who were themselves loved unconditionally, and therefore had a model, or in those days, even the concept of what unconditional love is?   When we have not experienced unconditional love as children, we don't have the natural ability to give this to ourselves.  It's far easier for us to feel unworthy than to feel totally and completely deserving of that magnificent love which we all do deserve. It's far easier for us to feel not good enough than to embrace the perfection of who we really are.  It's far easier for us to get stuck in our egos and therefore in 4D duality, than in the flow of Divine light.

I had an interesting intuitive reading about 10 years ago when I went to a 1/2day workshop on how to publish your spiritual book.  I was told that I wasn't ready to really get out there because I didn't love myself.  I was shocked.  I thought I loved myself.  I thought I had worked all that stuff through years before.  But as I sat with it and really connected with the information, I realized that liking myself and loving myself were not the same.  I had a positive self-concept, but I had not even begun to allow myself to feel the energy of full self-love.  I've had many more moments of that since then, but certainly it has not been consistent... and I'm a pretty together person.  If I've been struggling with it, I would say there's a pretty darn good chance that you have been struggling with this as well.

Unconditional love is an energy.  It's a frequency.  It probably gets swirled out of 9D in some form, gets revved up in 8D, the dimension where Divine love resides, and seeps into the cellular structure of the beings in 5D.  These 5D beings are filled with unconditional love.  It is their nature.  They have, thus far existed above the 4D canopy of duality.  BUT, times are changing.  We Earthlings are ascending, so this has to be shaking up the 9D vertical axis, in addition to shaking up our world.  We are turning into 5D beings but different from the existing 5D beings because we have not always loved ourselves and therefore do not come to unconditional love easily.

Here's some questions to ponder as you go through this process.  Can you love yourself for having to struggle with loving yourself unconditionally?  Can you love yourself for having to struggle with loving others unconditionally?  WHAT does that feel like when you are in a state of pure unconditional love?  Make a mental note when you are there... that will help this show up in your energy field and therefore in your life, more and more frequently.

And what about judgment?!  See if you can go for a day without judging yourself or someone else.  Let me know if you succeed.  Judgments are like clouds in our dimension. They just keep coming.  But unlike clouds, they create tension and constriction and ego inflation.  We want to notice them, which begins to neutralize their energy, but then we might be inclined to judge the tension and constriction and ego inflation as soon as we notice it, and on and on it goes. Like clouds, however, I believe we can learn to just notice the judgments and watch them pass with out getting stuck in their energy.  But these days there sure seem to be a lot of them and I have to really be on my toes, and go very gently with myself.

So how about you out there my fellow Earthlings?  Have the judgments on yourself and others seem to have shown up more frequently?    Do you judge the judgments?  Do you judge yourself judging the judgments?  Wouldn't it be lovely if we could just let all of this fall away like the autumn leaves as they float down on the wind, no longer needed by the trees.

We are in the seesaw/teeter totter time:  up and down, down and up, and ahhhhhh.... there it is -- that moment we find the perfect balance, effortlessly suspended in grace and harmony.  Breathe deep.  Enjoy.  And hold the awareness that at some point, we are likely to make a move that shifts the balance yet again.  We are just in Ascension kindergarten after all.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Frequency for a New Earth

Lately there have been many writings by spiritual intuitives and teachers asserting that we have reached a positive tipping point on our planet; that the creation of a New Earth filled with conscious, loving, spiritually awake people is truly coming to pass.  They also say the frequency of this New Earth will be vibrating at the speed of the 5th dimension.  When we match our vibrations to 5D, we spontaneously find ourselves in the realm of unconditional love and Unity consciousness.  This process of moving from the density of 3D to the lighter form of 5D is called ascension.

For many decades I have perceived that there would be a split occurring on Earth as we entered this new age.  On one hand there would be people who were committed to growth, love and healing, operating cooperatively with each other and understanding and honoring the interconnection of all; on the other hand there would be people stuck in fear and the old patriarchal models of force and exploitation, still operating out of a competitive, dog-eat-dog paradigm.  I understood this was connected to a difference in our vibrational frequency, that one group's cells would literally be vibrating faster than the other, but I didn't understand then, how that was related to the different dimensions.

Probably about 10 years ago it began to dawn on me that this split was beginning to take place, and a few years ago things became really clear.  I saw that open-hearted, healed people were able to live open-hearted and therefore satisfying lives, while fear-based people were stuck in very painful dramas.  That doesn't mean there were no challenges for the first group or no moments of pleasure for the second... but rather that on a vibrational level, we already were literally living on two very different planets that share the same physical space. Since everything is electro-magnetic, our fields were drawing to us people of the same frequency, i.e. people who's cells were vibrating at a similar rate to ours. It became more rare for the two groups to converge.

As the Mayan calendar, the 16.4 billion year cycle of evolution on planet Earth, is coming to a end, the split has become more and more distinct.  This by no means suggests that those living in a fear paradigm won't have options to shift... certainly I believe that choice will always exist.  But perhaps it will become more difficult because the difference in frequency between the groups is continually becoming greater.  So essentially there is one group of people on the planet who are in the process of actively ascending into 5th dimensional consciousness and another group that is still resisting or in some cases fighting against this process.

Suzan Caroll just wrote a wonderful account of her own most recent process of ascension, describing what she experiences when she holds this 5D multidimensional frequency.  Her image of the groups I spoke about above was slightly different and no doubt more accurate. She sees the world now with 3 groups.  She divides the "fear" group I spoke of, into two parts:  those who are really desiring change, wanting to lift themselves out of the old way, but still very scared and therefore attracting many 3D challenges as a way to promote growth, and a darker group of souls who believe they have benefited from the low frequency in the world and want to keep things the way they are.  She believes both groups are being activated to some degree, but the latter group is much more entrenched in the old ways. We help both group by sending unconditional love to all, which keeps their options open.

The other really important piece that Caroll speaks of, is her own story of connecting, or more accurately reconnecting, with her 5D self.  For those of you who are intrigued, I really encourage you to go to www.multidimensions.com and click on the September 26th newsletter.  It is a brave and fascinating account of her personal journey and I believe that many of you may find a deep activation within you when you read her story.

From my perspective, it is key to remember that we are talking about reconnecting with parts of ourselves that are operating in different dimensions.  Pay attention to the fact the we are "re"-connecting.  Our souls know the experience of being multidimensional, and so once we have achieved a bit of mastery here, there is an amazing sense of wholeness.  Our present ascension happens when we reconnect with our 5D self, but I suspect once we raise our vibrations to merge with that frequency, we will then learn to merge with the higher dimensions as well. And we will ultimately be able to hold these dimensional frequencies concurrently.

Holding different dimensional frequencies concurrently might be a difficult concept for some of you but it is really important one.  As I teach in my multidimensional workshops, we are potentially capable of holding at least 9 dimensions of consciousness at one time (9 different frequencies).  This is the encoding that is being released in our DNA as part of our current evolution.  Since each dimension corresponds to certain a vibrational frequency, when we are able to match our frequency with the frequency of our selves that operate in other dimensions, we begin to merge with these parts.  Suzan Caroll writes of her own experience merging her 3D self with her 5D self and actually holding two different 5D realities at one time:  one being the experience of the 5D frequency on the New Earth, and the other merging with her 5D self that is working with other 5D beings to help Gaia

I learned I could do this from practicing Richard Miller's meditations on Yoga Nidra.  Yoga Nidra is the yoga of non-duality (ie Oneness), and teaches us that we are all everything, not as an intellectual concept but as an embodied experience.  One of the ways these meditations do this is by leading us to notice and hold two or more emotional states at one time.  So it is with holding different dimensional frequencies.  From Caroll's account, and she is very evolved energetically, we have to begin slowly.  While we can intuit the 9 frequencies at once, we cannot really live them yet.  But we can begin to live 2 frequencies at once which will bring us into a deeper sense of our multidimensionality.

I began this blog a few days ago while feeling sorely stuck in 3D.  In some ways it's not a bad place to be on a brilliant Fall day in the beautiful blue-ridged Smoky Mountains.  My 3D life is a good one.  But what happens for me is that when I'm stuck in 3D, I'm not vibrating with joy.  From my experience, in order to fully feel joy, our hearts must be open enough to vibrate at what must be a 5D frequency.  When that happens it doesn't matter where you are or what your 3D life is like.  St. Francis of Assisi was able to do this while confined to a dungeon for a year.  So my heart was back in 3D, open but not enough to carry the 5D frequency of that full unconditional love, and while I did some meditation, and lots of journal writing, I couldn't seem to change this.  Then, little by little, the stuckness began to melt as did some old habits and beliefs that kept my vibratory rate moving slower than usual. The joy has seeped back in for however long I can sustain it this time. Remember it is an ongoing process.  We do not grow in a linear way.

So brother and sister Earthlings, you too might find your yourself feeling expansive and connected to your 5D frequency one day, stuck in 3D the next, and back to 5D the day after.  Pay attention to your vibrational field, be gentle with yourself and put out the intent to meet and merge with your 5th dimensional self.  And that's only beginning of the wonders that await us.