I've pondered many things to blog in the last month, but between the business of the holidays and the business of my life (which I think is a lot less busy than most), the time has not offered itself. However, today I find myself with a delicious space of time and having just returned from an amazing Yoga class, felt my Spirit leading me to this post...so we will see what happens.
I'm in the midst of an interesting multidimensional challenge. While I usually write about the vertical axis of our multidimensionality, which holds the frequencies and intelligences that span from the 1st dimension to the 9th (from the iron crystal core of the Earth to Gallatic Center), there is also what I call the horizontal axis. This is the axis where everything our soul has ever experienced resides, so it includes what we generally refer to as past and future lifetimes as well as parallel lives. I visualize the 'past' as a line spanning from our core out our back and extending as far 'back' as we go. And the 'future' as a line extending frontwards from our core. Yes, in the higher dimensions, all time-lines exist simultaneously, but for us in 3D, we still have the concept of past and future.
Several decades ago, actually since I published my first book, Journey to Wholeness: A Guide to Inner Healing, I uncovered a 'past' life experience that was beginning to show up in this lifetime as fear of speaking in front of audiences. Up until that point, it was always easy for me to give workshops and teach classes. No stress about preparation or presentation... it all flowed easily. But that began to shift when I published Journey. I noticed it first when I was asked to do a keynote presentation at a local Holistic conference, and soon after at a book signing at our local Barnes & Noble. I started to feel really anxious as I was putting both presentations together. Once I started speaking, I was fine, but this anxiousness even began to spread to a psychology class I was teaching at a community college. I had been teaching for years with no problem, now I would have to take several deep centering breaths before leaving my car and walking into the classroom in order to calm down this anxiousness that was threatening to take me over.
Since clearly the anxiety was not based on anything rational, (I always do a great job once I'm teaching,) and it was not not historical, (nothing from my childhood, I was in my mid-40's by the time it started,) I intuited that this was an other-life-time fear. So as all good seekers on Planet Earth who are dealing with this kind of thing, I had both a channeling and a past regression done by a gifted intuitive, and adding that experience to my own awareness, I began to uncover a lifetime where I was teaching the kind of spiritual development I do these days in my present life, only I was teaching from my yard where all the folks around would come to hear me. The government that was just coming into power at the time was not fond of the point of view I was expressing, but seemed to tolerate me. Or so I thought. Until they burst into my home in the middle of the night, my husband gone for a few days, and my 3 young children left in my sole care, and ripped me away, throwing me into a dungeon and executing me the next day. (Okay so maybe you think I have a fabulous imagination, but what convinces me of this truth whether all the details are accurate or not, is the feeling I get in my body when I think of this.)
Anyway, what ensued was not a pretty scene. I'm pretty sure I was hung, all the while being frantic that my young children were left unattended, alone and terrified, and being powerless to help them. I've done a lot of work over the years trying to heal that lifetime, but somehow it keeps popping up. OR, are there simply other ones that have the same ending? Just a month or so ago, I had a reading and was told that I was stoned to death (and not the fun kind of stoned.) I was also told that there were energy blocks in my work, and realized that I was creating those blocks to keep my work (my courses, my books, my teaching) from getting large enough that I could begin to feel the old danger was lurking, and therefore become anxious.
So, once again, I began to look inward in order to observe this horizontal axis and the multidimensional parts of myself that were still in play. And somewhat to my surprise, which some might think is because I'm pretty dense in some areas, I uncovered a part that still lives in total terror. The thing about working with these parts of ourselves is that they often can stay well-hidden, in the shadows of our consciousness. For instance, I'm a pretty calm person that rarely feels afraid or endangered. I feel safe in my life and my world. EXCEPT apparently not all of me is truly on board with that. When I found this inner part, and could momentarily feel her abject terror, while I was still able to hold some calm and centeredness (since I knew the threat was not something that would hurt my body or myself in the present), ...I started to comfort her, and to call on all my higher dimensional selves to comfort her as well. I have to admit, she's not necessarily open to it. The intensity of her terror is daunting. But I've been consistent and I'm hopeful this will get healed and when it does it will impact all the timelines on this horizontal axis of my being.
Hmmm... a thought just came to me that seems worthy of sharing. On this timeline, in a future life, this part is fully healed; this whole experience is over, resolved, no longer impacting any part of my soul. So if I can tune into that future-self, well, then the healing is complete.
In my vivid imagination, I can see that future self waving back at me. She's radiant with love. Her look is one of compassion and amusement as she continues down the Path of her life. I can almost feel her warmth as she recedes from my vision. Interesting that I never thought before to call on her. And so I'll add that to this healing protocol and see what happens.
So dear fellow Earthlings, perhaps there are multidimensional parts of your own soul that are affecting you in ways you haven't realized. Perhaps in your quest for higher consciousness, for a more balanced life, for operating out of your full spiritual potential, these parts have remained hidden in the farthest reaches of your psyche. And perhaps my story might coincide in some way with your story, and my healing journey might inspire something that will activate your own.
Remember, we are all part of this amazing interconnected web of consciousness, when one of us heals, we all heal. And so we can hold this as hope for our planet...
No song lyrics are coming to me today, but maybe ones will arise for you, and I'll end up singing them soon...
Wishing you all love, blessings and a easy ride on your multidimensional journey.
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The next round of my online course to activate your soul's potential begins again on April 26nd, with the Free Preview Teleconference on Sunday, April 19th, 2015 at noon EDT.
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July 11th - July 18th: Goddess Camp 2015: A Retreat for the Feminine Soul
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Place: Isis Cove Retreat Center in the magical Blue Ridge Mountains, Whittier, NC (Asheville, NC area) Click link below for more information
Goddess Camp 2015