It's been an interesting ride the past few days. Right now my creativity is surging and my multidimensional connection feels more integrated than ever. After diving into concern and confusion about what my work was truly to be and become, if it was to be and become anything more at all, Spirit tapped me on the shoulder and said "HA! Ye of little trust... haven't you learned anything!" Okay. Okay. Spirit did tap me on the shoulder and give me some very clear Guidance about the next step of my sacred work, and I simultaneously felt Her loving and gentle humor about the mental/emotional gyrations I've been putting myself through. But somehow I don't think She would have phrased things quite like that. "Haven't you learned anything!" sounds like my inner 3D judge who, masquerading as Spirit, sneaked right in.
As we are riding this first wave of our ascension process from 3D beings to 5D beings, I'm suspecting I'm not the only one going through some bi-polar dances. Here's what I wrote a few days ago when I first began this posting:
Feeling stuck back in 3D again... but that's okay. I know on some level it's part of my process. As I expand energetically, there seems to be an almost equal period of contraction. Interesting huh since that is one of the main laws of Newtonian physics, (for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction) or put differently, a primary physical law of the third dimension.
I was surprised though as this contracted state almost immediately followed a lovely one-day workshop that I taught with Anyaa McAndrew on Activating Our Multidimensional Potential. We have been getting plenty of emails from our students saying how good they feel -- but, hmmmmm, at least this teacher is experiencing something quite different.
Now that I am at the manic pole, (or at least I was until my husband walked in and we started bickering about ridiculous stuff, which put me momentarily back in the depressive pole,) I see the magical interweaving of energy; I feel the perfection of the Universe I live in. And I see, yet again, this ecstatic dance is much more fun than doing the bi-polar jig that likes to spin us around and around.
So what's up here? I know that it is optimum to maintain that lovely sense of equanimity and presence. I know being reactive to all outer stimulation simply disconnects me from my center and Divine wisdom. And certainly I have worked long and hard at this, practicing over and over the joy of non- reactivity. SO, why have I been recently so reactive?
As one of those human creatures that I share the planet with, I realize that we never just learn a lesson and then are done with it at least not in the 3rd dimension. When we are talking about emotional and spiritual healing and development, we are talking about learning the same lesson over and over in a multitude of variations. AND, while on an individual level I have Saturn transiting my natal Jupiter which is rather a bi-polar energy to start with, I feel this is part of the larger and more generalizable cycle which we are all passing through on our way to Unity Consciousness.
The Mayan calendar ends in 14 days. We are in the final day of the final underworld: an 18 day period which is the very last segment of a 16.4 billion year evolutionary cycle. On the 28th of this month, all of the 9 major cycles or underworlds of the last 16.4 billion years are scheduled to culminate. How can we not all be feeling this? Our cellular memories are amped up to the max, while the demands of daily life seems to match the intensity of this vibration.
What I have been consistently bringing my awareness back to is the 2 cardinal rules of our present evolution into 5D beings: 1. Keep opening both the heart and the high heart 2. Notice and release judgement. Are you rolling in the aisles yet?? Piece of cake you say? Surely the evolution-gods and goddesses are yukking it up watching us Earthlings struggle with things that are to become as normal as breathing. But the reality is that these are the biggest challenges for pretty much all of us.
Let's start with the first concept... that of an open heart and high heart that is filled with unconditional Divine love. The state that is guaranteed to bring us ongoing bliss. How many of you were given unconditional love as children? How many of you had parents who were themselves loved unconditionally, and therefore had a model, or in those days, even the concept of what unconditional love is? When we have not experienced unconditional love as children, we don't have the natural ability to give this to ourselves. It's far easier for us to feel unworthy than to feel totally and completely deserving of that magnificent love which we all do deserve. It's far easier for us to feel not good enough than to embrace the perfection of who we really are. It's far easier for us to get stuck in our egos and therefore in 4D duality, than in the flow of Divine light.
I had an interesting intuitive reading about 10 years ago when I went to a 1/2day workshop on how to publish your spiritual book. I was told that I wasn't ready to really get out there because I didn't love myself. I was shocked. I thought I loved myself. I thought I had worked all that stuff through years before. But as I sat with it and really connected with the information, I realized that liking myself and loving myself were not the same. I had a positive self-concept, but I had not even begun to allow myself to feel the energy of full self-love. I've had many more moments of that since then, but certainly it has not been consistent... and I'm a pretty together person. If I've been struggling with it, I would say there's a pretty darn good chance that you have been struggling with this as well.
Unconditional love is an energy. It's a frequency. It probably gets swirled out of 9D in some form, gets revved up in 8D, the dimension where Divine love resides, and seeps into the cellular structure of the beings in 5D. These 5D beings are filled with unconditional love. It is their nature. They have, thus far existed above the 4D canopy of duality. BUT, times are changing. We Earthlings are ascending, so this has to be shaking up the 9D vertical axis, in addition to shaking up our world. We are turning into 5D beings but different from the existing 5D beings because we have not always loved ourselves and therefore do not come to unconditional love easily.
Here's some questions to ponder as you go through this process. Can you love yourself for having to struggle with loving yourself unconditionally? Can you love yourself for having to struggle with loving others unconditionally? WHAT does that feel like when you are in a state of pure unconditional love? Make a mental note when you are there... that will help this show up in your energy field and therefore in your life, more and more frequently.
And what about judgment?! See if you can go for a day without judging yourself or someone else. Let me know if you succeed. Judgments are like clouds in our dimension. They just keep coming. But unlike clouds, they create tension and constriction and ego inflation. We want to notice them, which begins to neutralize their energy, but then we might be inclined to judge the tension and constriction and ego inflation as soon as we notice it, and on and on it goes. Like clouds, however, I believe we can learn to just notice the judgments and watch them pass with out getting stuck in their energy. But these days there sure seem to be a lot of them and I have to really be on my toes, and go very gently with myself.
So how about you out there my fellow Earthlings? Have the judgments on yourself and others seem to have shown up more frequently? Do you judge the judgments? Do you judge yourself judging the judgments? Wouldn't it be lovely if we could just let all of this fall away like the autumn leaves as they float down on the wind, no longer needed by the trees.
We are in the seesaw/teeter totter time: up and down, down and up, and ahhhhhh.... there it is -- that moment we find the perfect balance, effortlessly suspended in grace and harmony. Breathe deep. Enjoy. And hold the awareness that at some point, we are likely to make a move that shifts the balance yet again. We are just in Ascension kindergarten after all.
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